Days 7,8 & 9

I’ve lost 6 and a half pounds since I re-started my diet on the 7th. Im feeling good but today a trip to the super market really tested me. I could of easily brought so many things and eaten them all in one very large binge.

It just goes to show that I’ll probably never have my binge eating completely under control but as long as I have more good days than bad I’m fighting the fight and coming out on top.

My running is going ok, I managed 5km today without stopping which was one of my targets for 2019. Ive actually hit that a lot sooner than I thought I would however I’d like to be a bit quicker so theres still work to be done.

Hubby has joined a running group and has started running a couple of times a week, last week he did one run with me and said he was surprised at my stamina. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed running with someone as I usually like running on my own for a bit of me time. Its made me consider joining a running group myself. Maybe once my little boy has started school I’ll have time to join one.

Speaking of school today is the final day for school applications. We picked a school we are not in catchment for as our first choice but the 2nd and third choices are both in catchment so I’m hoping he will get a place somewhere. Some of my friends are really nervous about the result in April, I don’t feel nervous which is usual for someone who suffers with Anxiety. Maybe I’ll be more anxious closer the the time. I am extremely anxious about him actually going to the school, it feels like I’m going to lose a little bit of him some how. I know it will be really good for him but Im not sure how well I’ll handle it.

So back to my cleanse, Im on day 9 and since my little slip on day 5 I have been completely on plan, including the weekend which is usually a dangerous time for me. We went out for tea on Saturday, I had Steak and sweet potato  fries which is on plan and yummy so I didn’t feel like I missed out. Sunday was a roast chicken, I did hubby and my little boy roast potatoes and I has sweet potato again and no gravy for me but it was lovely. The thing I’ve found on this cleanse is that if I eat whole foods prepared from scratch I don’t get cravings for anything else. I don’t eat anything after my dinner giving my body a proper chance to digest the food and then rest so I’m sleeping better and I’m finding going to the loo much easier, which is nice. However I’ve got awful wind. I mean really bad I’m surprised hubby hasn’t left me its so bad. I believe this is a sign that my body is clearing out any bad stuff and my system is re-balancing its self. Fingers crossed it wont last to much longer. (sorry for the over share)

Advertisements

Days 4,5 & 6

Its been a long few days.

My will power has been tested and failed over the last 3 days. I didn’t fail as much as I could of and my eating has been no where near as bad as it would of been before but still not the straight forward run I was hoping for, for this 30 day cleanse.

The quote “if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you” comes to mind.

The desire to eat things that are bad for me seems to be a constant struggle at the moment, I know in my mind and in my head I don’t need the bad food, Im not necessarily hungry I just want to eat the bad stuff. Yesterday hubby was back late from picking my step daughters up so we ate later than normal, I had been fighting the urge to eat chocolate all day knowing I was going to have a curry for tea which would take me slightly off plan but no to much and it was a Friday night treat. By 3pm I had spent all day telling myself not to eat and had been successful but at that point I just ate 3 celebration chocolates left over from Christmas. The worst part, I didn’t even enjoy them. They didn’t make me feel better or satisfy what ever I was feeling if anything they made me worse because then I felt like I had failed myself.

When I sat and thought about it I decided I shouldn’t of done it but Its done now and it could of been much worse. Draw a line under it and move on because Im only on day 5 still 25 days to go and at this point the only failure would be giving up. 25 days is still a long time to go, a lot of weight can still be lost and 3 celebrations isn’t going to make me gain a lot of weight. I stepped on the scale this morning and I’ve lost half a pound since yesterday so thankfully no damage done.

Now talking about weighing myself, I know I should not be weighing myself every day but I can’t help myself at the moment. I used to weigh myself on a Monday morning and log my weight in an app, then do a cheeky weigh on Thursday morning just to check I was doing ok, I don’t know when it turned to weighing myself every day. I am finding that its helping me stay on track though because I like seeing the numbers come down and It helps me get out of bed first thing which my husband enjoys (I bring him a cuppa when I come back). Is it so bad to weigh yourself everyday? I need to know where I am to make sure I don’t gain a lot of weight back. Its happened before and when you don’t know what you weigh its easier to ignore weight gain and keep telling yourself you weigh the same as before.

Im feeling frustrated with myself for gaining so much weight over Christmas, Im not back at my pre-christmas weight yet so I just feel like I’m covering the same ground again and again, I really need to get there so I can start moving forward but thats easier said than done.

Day 3…… willpower

Or lack there of to!

To be fair to myself I haven’t actually slipped off plan yet but I came so close earlier this evening I could virtually taste the chocolate in my mouth. Willpower is something I really struggle with, I like food and particularly food thats bad for me. Who doesn’t thats the world we live in these days. A world of convenience and indulgence, where its easier and cheaper to buy  junk than to prepare a wholesome meal. Well thats what we tell ourselves isn’t it. “I’m starving” so rather than make a healthy dinner we order a takeaway thinking that it will be quicker but in reality in the 30-45 minutes it can take to get food delivered you could easily have cooked something. Im so guilty of this, its laziness.

I don’t mind cooking but in all honesty sometimes I just can’t think of something I want to cook, My hubby can be quite fussy, he wont eat rice two nights in the same week intact that goes for most carbs and he doesn’t like pasta unless its covered in cheese. He gets bored of the same meals if we have them to often there more but i wont bore you with rest. As you can imagine it makes deciding what to make each weeks hard and it makes shopping really expensive. So when I can’t decide what to cook or I’m tired its easier to say “shall we get a take away” because I always know he will be happy to got get something. We say its a treat but we do it so often that It can’t really be classed as a treat and surely a treat is something thats good for us not something thats probably doing us more harm than good.

Anyway back to willpower, after drooling over my sones leftover Christmas chocolates, I thought to myself I’m gonna have some chocolate orange thats in the cup board no one will know but then I thought ill know and to be honest on this occasion it worked. I had an apple instead. I’m hoping that as I get further through the cleanse my willpower will prevail and as I see the numbers on the scales coming down and feel my mental health improving it will get easier. well fingers crossed anyway….

 

 

Day 2

I managed to stay completely on plan yesterday, we all know that the first day of a new diet can be a struggle but I don’t want to get a head of myself and act like by doing one day I’ve nailed it and there won’t be any set backs.

1 day avoiding gluten, dairy and anything processed is easy isn’t it but when I’m on day 7 and just want someone to bring me a takeaway because I can’t be bothered to cook it might be a completely different story. I know I can stick to the plan, I’ve done it several times before, including once where I went for 60 days straight (went on holiday so I didn’t continue you only live once). If I’m begin honest I haven’t done it properly since then, If i’d done to properly id be at my target now but hey ho no regrets!

This morning I managed to run for over 4km without stopping, I’m pretty proud of that, it wasn’t fast but at least I went, It was so cold I just wanted to sit in front of Jeremy Kyle with a cuppa but I didn’t and to me thats a win. As I’ve mentioned before I signed up to race at your pace and I need to run 25 miles in January, thats about 41km, so far I’ve done 8.5km so its not going as well as i’d hoped but I’m not giving up. Once I’ve got my pace back up a bit I want to give ParkRun another go. If you haven’t been to your local park run, you should. Its a fully inclusive event and totally free, its set up and run by volunteers, you can run, skip or walk it. The  atmosphere is great, everyone is friendly and its a lovely way to see how fast you can get round 5km. I did it a few times last year, all you need to do is Google park run and go to the website, find your local event and register so you get a barcode, meaning you can get a time. Once you’ve done that you can just show up when and wherever you fancy. I believe they all happen on a Saturday morning. Kids can take part as well but under 11’s must stay with a responsible adult all the way around. I know one 10 year old who can run it in 24 minutes and is getting quicker, its lovely to see families out enjoying an activity together, most people have a pair of trainers, so why not give it ago its free and you might enjoy it.

 

 

Its just a set back, it doesn’t define the whole journey!

So today I start my first 30 day cleanse of 2019 using Arbonne products. Ive been using these products since March 2018 and I can honestly say they have changed my life. Obviously I’ve had to put in some hard work myself after all they aren’t magic but when I’m using the products my weight loss is better and my mental health improves dramatically.

At the start of each cleanse, you take your measurements, weight and a photo so you can track your progress. I haven’t used the products properly since September/October due to holidays and nights out and I was not impressed with what I found. 3 inches bigger across my waist and 1 inch increase on my hips. I’m feeling really bloated, sluggish and disappointed in myself. I had wanted be at target by now instead I’m half a stone heavier than before Christmas.

Whilst I was sat dwelling on my failure last night, I decided that this is only a set back not the end and it does not define my whole journey, I have still lost over 3 stone so this is not a failure, failure would be giving up. I need to raise above it and move forward. If we keep dwelling on our set backs we will never move on and improve. So today I got up after a bad nights sleep due to a cough that just won’t go away, made my potions and got started. My aim is to get back to where I was before christmas with this 30 days and then carry on from there. I will be trying to update this blog most days with what I’ve been doing and how I’m feeling.

Are any of you struggling with losing weight or finding the motivation to exercise? I’d love to hear from you.

The Gym???

Well it’s thats time of yer again when everyone decides to pile in to the gym to make a fresh start, like joining the gym is going to change their lives (myself included in this by the way)

Today I went to the gym for the first time since November, I can really see the difference in my body, everything has gone saggy and my belly is massive again, after feeling great yesterday from my run, I spent the night coughing and spluttering. When the alarm went off this morning the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym after dropping my little boy off at nursery but I dragged myself there and tried my best. As my trainer used to say a bad work out is better than no workout at all but mentally I’m not so sure.

It seemed to take ages to burn even the minimum of calories I usually burn at the gym and I really didn’t enjoy it. It made me wonder why I bother going to be honest. Surely our energy would be better sent on active hobbies like sports or athletics rather than going to the gym (not that I like playing sports)

So whilst I’m still fat and I don’t like sports the gym it is!!!

Thats the 1st run of the tear done.

When my alarm went off at 6.45 this morning I promptly switched it off and went back to sleep. My intention when I set the alarm last night was to get out of bed and go for a run before anyone else was up, clearly that didn’t happen. I have signed up to RaYP only the 25 mile challenge as 50 seemed far to much for my first attempt and I promised myself that I would start running TODAY!!

When I finally woke up at 8am I went down stairs stood on the scales (not as bad as I thought by the way) made a drink and went back to bed for have cuddles with my little boy and hubby, I sat there drinking my drink and thought to myself, its only the 2nd and you’ve already broken a promise to yourself. With that I got my ass out of bed, got dressed and headed out on my run. Since I hurt my hip last July its been difficult to run, some of it is the pain but mostly its mental. The worst thought goes through my mind, YOU CAN’T. Anyone who runs or who does any type of physical exercise will know that when you tell yourself you can’t do something, you wont do it. I started couch to 5k again last week in the aim of getting back up to 5k by spring and today I decided to not use the app and see how far I could run with out stopping, As I started my legs felt weak and I felt like I was running through treacle, I had to remind myself thats how I always feel when I start and not to give up, I kept setting myself little targets and by the time I made it back to my housing estate I had run 3.5k without stopping, showing that although I could run double that in July I haven’t lost it completely and that is a positive thought that I can use the next time I run. My hip is feeling very weak now but I’m hoping that it will start feeling better with every run.

My point here is that you should never break a promise to yourself. Those are the most important ones. Also with a positive attitude you can achieve anything you want!