Personally I love New Years. It always feels like a fresh start and the world feels like its full of possibilities which is a nice feeling for some one who is always on the verge of an anxiety attack.
The idea of Brexit however is putting a bit of a dampener on things, to be honest I voted to remain, I just don’t see how a small country like ours can be better of on its own surely we are strong with Europe, however I do appreciate that by a very slight majority we voted to leave so thats whats going to happen. I do worry how this is going to affect our way of life and what will happen after we leave but I guess what will be will be.
Looking past Brexit I still feel the new year is full of optimism, Im hoping to lose another 2 Stone and ideally get back on track with my running, If I can start doing 5k park runs again by early spring I think that would feel like I was getting somewhere. Im to scared to step on the scales at the moment but on the 3rd of January I’ve got to face up to what ever weight I’ve gained and moved forward, otherwise its only going to get worse and I really don’t want to end up back where I started or worse heavier. This year I have decided not to make new years resolutions. I never stick to them, instead Im going to set myself some targets to aim for throughout the year and hope that by this time next year I have achieved them.
- Lose 2 Stone
- Run 5k
- Spend less money each month
- Be less anxious
Don’t get me wrong I know the last 2 are vague but at the moment I’m not 100 percent sure how I’m going to achieve those so any improvement is better than nothing. My main focus is my weight and my fitness mainly because I feel that when I’m working on these my anxiety naturally improves, the only issue is this is when I tend to spend more money.
Along with these targets I have another hurdle to overcome… flying to orlando on my own with a 3 year old. hubby has a work conference on Vegas and decided that flying to Florida from Vegas and us flying over to meet him was a good idea. We had friends move out there last year and we promised to fly out and visit them, by doing it this way the flights are cheaper but I have to admit I’m nervous, when I think about the airport and flying with a 3 year old without hubby’s help my tummy starts to go tight and I feel a bit sick. I don’t tend to react will when I’m stressed so if you see me in the airport looking stressed maybe turn around and walk in the other direction as I’m liable to snap or worse cry.
Along with this holiday, I’m currently looking for family holidays including my 2 step daughters. I hate having the whole years holidays planned out but when you need to pay for a family of 5 to go during school holidays planning is key as its costs more than a small house. My little boy starts school in September and controversially I have booked a term time holiday for October because we wanted to go with friends whose kids holidays are on a different week. We will probably get a fine but he’s only 4 so I’m hoping they don’t fine until they turn 5. I believe that family time and life experiences are equally as important as education, surely we need to be bringing up well rounded children who see the world from all different angles, I won’t take him out of school often and I believe that unless you are really sick you don’t stay home but for a family holiday I don’t see why we shouldn’t. The fact we live in a society where the government believe its ok to constantly tell us how to raise our kids worries me, however I do understand that in some situations people need to be reminded to send their kids to school and we are extremely lucky to have a system in place where everyone gets an eduction. surely its about finding a balance.
How is everyone else feeling, I would be great to hear from some of you, how was your christmas. What plans are you making for 2019??
Diary of an anxious mummy 